Monday, March 26, 2012

My new vag...

...perhaps I over-sold it there. Allow me to back-track and put things into perspective.

A few weeks ago, I got a candy-coloured (read: super-pink complete with polka dots) package while I merrily went about clutching (definition: having a clutch bag in tow) along. Overwhelmed by just the proportions of the package I, like a kid in a candy-store, couldn't wait to get home to plant my self on the floor and dig in:

The package in question
The package beside a standard 500ml bottle of water

Naturally, I opened it and to my delight, Ms Lola (Oh, Lola! by Marc Jacobs, but I prefer Ms Lola) stared up at me in all her yonic-like spleandour (I know, never thought I'd associate that with spleandour - the reason for that will be apparent soon)... jeepus, this is beginning to sound much more salacious than I'd anticipated, but anyway...
Ms Lola and her sweet friends
While exploring her rather elaborate bottle, complete with petals and leaf cap, the image of yoni just resurfacing and this reminded me of a recital I attended in the dowdy streets of Observatory ( Cape Town) where a friend performed this piece from the Vagina Monologues:

CUNT.

I'VE RECLAIMED IT.

CUNT.

I REALLY LIKE IT.

CUNT,

JUST LISTEN TO IT, LISTEN TO IT.

CUNT.

CA...

CA...

CAVERN,

CACKLE, CLIT, CUTE, COME-CLOSED C,

CLOSED INSIDE, INSIDE CA...

CA...

THEN U...

THEN CU...

THEN CURVY, INVITING SHARKSKIN, U...

UNIFORM,

UNDER,

UP,

URGE,

OOH, OOH, U...

. THEN N, THEN CUN..

CUN...

SNUG LETTERS FITTING PERFECTLY TOGETHER.

N...

NEST, NOW,

NEXUS, NICE,

ALWAYS DEPTH, ALWAYS ROUND IN UPPERCASE,

CUN, CUN... !

A JAGGED WICKE D ELECTRICAL PULSE.

N..., N...

THEN SOFT N, WARM N...

CUN, CUN.

THEN T, THEN T...

THEN SHARP CERTAIN TANGY T...

TEXTURE, TAKE,

TIGHT, TENT,

TANTALIZING,

TENSING,

TASTE,

TENDRILS,

TIME,

TACTILE,

TELL ME !

TELL ME, CUNT !

CUNT !

SAY IT !

TELL ME, COME ON !

CUNT.

CUNT.

CUNT !


Quite fitting for a bottle this elaborate hey? And Dakota Fann(y)ing doing the ads looks a little calculated to befit my thoughts...

"Is it vulgar?" I hear you asking. On the contrary actually. Personally it's something I've never had (lol) and, based solely on the rest of the Vagina Monologues I've sat through, this is the only object I find they're actually describing, with passion at that. Ms Lola certainly has me intrigued...

Ms Lola's content is sweet, romantic, floral, year-round-ready and lovely *blush*. And if you've ever wondered what I drag around in my clutch, now you know one content, I carry my vag.

Perhaps I should've lead this post with an age restriction? no? oh well.

2 comments:

Dee said...

I guess I'ma be getting me this very soon. "Ms Lola"

Maque DeGorgeous said...

Ms Lola is lovable. You should do just that, give her a bash!