I was in mid-Sandton traffic after work, on my way to watch a live-screened theatre production ("London Assurance"), when I decided to tune into a Johannesburg-based Youth Radio station. The topic captivated me beyond expectation, they were discussing - together with call-in listeners - the strange things people do to achieve beauty, or rather, their beauty regimes.
Before I mention the weird, funny and down-right don't-do's that people do behing closed doors and in front of their vanity-cases, I just want to put some of my regimes and horror stories of my own:
Daily routine: wash my face with one the following: Garnier Even, Garnier Oil control Complete, Garnier Pure, Garnier Pure Active - interchanging them to avoid getting my face used to one product which, eventually, makes the product lose its effectiveness.
Shaving routine: I use Soft Sheen Carson's "Magic Cream Shave" which is specifically designed for black men to shave their faces - works like veet hair remover: apply, leave on for a few minutes and wash off and the hair disappears - like "Magic" really. Then I exfoliate (can't wash before shaving - needs a dry surface) using Garnier Pure Active, apply Soft Sheen Carson's after shave which makes the facial hair stay off for longer and then apply my face cream (but not on the shaved areas.
Hair: washed, conditioned using Tresemme and combed out properly using twice a week (it's 45 minute process because I leave the conditioner in for minimum 30 minutes) - and moisturise and hydrate with hair spray when necessary. I also use mousse to try to try to tame my mane when need be...
Beauty (which is the horror story to be honest): when getting ready for a function or a day when I feel like looking like how I feel (beautiful, don't laugh) - I use the above 3 mentioned regimes and then use a Mac Fix powder/foundation to hide imperfections (hard to believe, I know, but they are there!) and finish off with a few spritz of Mac Fix spray. Now I have not always used this latter-mentioned spray but just the powder and on many occasions, due to the soft-lighting I have in my house (set to be like that - I hate harsh lighting), I have applied one too many "layers" that have left me looking like the monster that children are threatened with if they do not finish their food - case in point:
-click to enlarge, if you have to -
This was the nightmare I dealt with on one too many occassions until I discovered this spray which, I am guessing, hydrates my skin after using the foundation, reabsorbs the powder and auto-corrects overuse of the powder for a perfect matte finish - lifesaver!!!
Back to what was mentioned on the radio station:
One listener called in to mention a "light brown polish" -literally, the product made by Kiwi and Nuggets of this world - is used on the face for a even and matte look. P-o-l-i-s-h! Light brown... over the face - who the... what the... was my reaction too... One of the show's host joked about what would happen if you run a shoe-shine cloth over who ever uses this' face... one question though: shoe cream, wax or liquid polish?
Another "anonymous" caller called in to say that he had run out of hair spray/moisturiser for his afro and opted to use.. wait for it... cooking oil (no, not olive oil), cooking oil for a glossy finish. okay - i know certain oils are good for the hair - but need to be washed out before sashaying in the streets on a hot day for obvious reasons. The caller went on to talk about how he, yes HE, had overused it and how it ran on the sides during the day - can you imagine? Now I know i know why mini-bus taxis have a "I like your perm, but not on my window" signs plastered around them.
And the shaving off of eyebrows and (poorly) stenciling them back on using what could only be described as a marking pen - the finished look: Bobo the clown! Why would anyone want to walk around looking like Pee-wee? really now!
I just had to share the strange, weird and... WEIRD things people get up to when having a 1-0n-1 with the mirror.
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